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She that is Me
08 May 2012 @ 12:08 pm
She that is Me
Exhibit A:

Me: I just watched Spiderman on Spiderman porn.
Me: Ouch...right in the childhood.
Male: Spiderman porn?
Me: Seriously.
Me: Two guys in Spiderman costumes going at it.
Male: Err ok.
Male: Is there an Xmen equivalent?

Tears streaming down my face. XD
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
She that is Me
13 March 2012 @ 05:46 pm
My belly button incision is so close to being healed. I can see it getting better every day and I've lasted nearly 2 weeks laying on the sofa to get as much air to it as possible but I am over books and watching films/tv shows. I would literally give people money to let me play a solid few hours of Warcraft. lol I know logically I only have another couple of days of it but I'm so antsy I'm to the point where I want to burn my couch.

Okay so I'm moaning and I'm fed up and I need to suck it up. Think positive. There are good things that have come out of this that make a few more days on the couch no big deal. I can now eat practically anything I want without pain. I feel so much better in myself. My eyes are brighter, my skin and nails are better, I've lost 12lbs in the month i've been out of hospital... These are good things. I am grateful for them.


Okay. I will be back to normal soon. I will.

*chin up* *heads back to the couch*
Current Mood: blahblah
She that is Me
21 February 2012 @ 07:42 am
I have woken up in a terribly sad mood after a less than successful nights sleep. I'm trying very hard not to moan and complain. I hate being one of those sick people that does nothing but moan about their latest ailment so the fact that I want to do exactly that is making me mad at myself which is decidedly counter-productive. So in order to get it out of my system I am going to make this little whining post.

Have a list:
  • I can't get comfortable enough to sleep for more than a couple of hours.

  • My ribs hurt because I can't turn on my side to sleep.

  • The incision in my belly button pulls the second I try to do anything with my stomach muscles.

  • The space where my gallbladder was aches like...well like i've had a chunk of me taken away.

  • The leftover anaesthesia is making my coordination all wonky.

  • I can't laugh or cough without doubling over at the aches and pains it sends ricocheting round my mid-section.

  • I have a general feeling that i'm somehow doing this recovery wrong.

  • I feel like I should be back looking for work.

  • The cat won't leave me alone.

  • The Male won't either.

  • Nor will my Mother or Sister.

  • My Mage got kicked out of three dungeon parties yesterday for being underpowered.

  • I've run out of Top Chef and Project Runway Allstars to watch.

  • The Vampire Diaries is messing with my ships by making me like lots of other ships.

  • Watching Supernatural feels like a chore and not a pleasure any more.

  • Spartacus just isn't the same without Andy Whitfield.

  • Game of Thrones isn't back on my telly yet.

  • The Avengers release date hasn't been moved up to this week, nor has the premiere been moved to my living room.


I think thats it for now.

I feel a little better for that. TYFYT.
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
She that is Me
19 February 2012 @ 08:56 am
I'm back in the land of the living :) Well kinda. Little bleary. Sore but not in pain, surprisingly. I thought it was going to be much much worse than it is. Sitting in my computer chair with the lumbar support is the best thing ever.

It all went very well indeed, touch wood. I went into surgery at around 11.30am on Friday morning and was out by 2.30pm. I was an hour longer than they expected because my gall bladder was, as the surgeon described it, 'a really nasty little piece of work.' lol Apparently it was a bitch to get out and they had to do all sorts of manoeuvring but they didn't have to open me up so alls well that ends well.

I can't praise the day surgery nurses and doctors highly enough. Especially my nurse, Anna. I came out of the anaesthesia pretty well and I felt absolutely fine until I had a piece of toast and got up to go to the loo. I went from chipper, laughing and generally being me, to being hotter than hell, feeling sick as a dog and crying like a little girl. Bless Anna though, she moved me to the window to cool me off and gave me anti-emetics to calm the nausea before moving me up to a ward. The funny turn meant I had to stay in overnight but in all fairness, that was a small price to pay to be rid of the thing that was actively trying to kill me.

I have four incisions but they're healing up nicely already, which is a shocker to me as I generally heal really slowly from cuts and such, but I am decidedly NOT complaining about that. The one that had the drain and was used to actually remove the gall bladder under my ribs makes its presence felt, as does the one in my belly button with the stitches in it, but the other two are not causing me any issues thus far. Sleep is a little hard to come by. If I lay down too long the carbon dioxide they filled me up with tends to shift about and that's a bloody weird sensation. Weird enough that I had to take painkillers to knock me out so I could stop freaking out about it. But hopefully in a few days that'll be gone and I can get a full nights sleep.

So yeah. All in all, I am a happy, if tired, bunny. Thank you all for your well-wishes guys, I'm really really appreciative.

*smishes to all and sundry*
Current Mood: happyhappy
She that is Me
16 February 2012 @ 10:19 am
I don't know what to say at all.

swagneto just messaged me to tell me about this post over here on tumblr.

I just...Thank you so much. Thank you, Jess for organising it and thank you to everyone that donated. I really, really appreciate it. I have no proper words and I can't type because i'm in tears. It'll pay off the electric bill and that...I just can't thank you enough.

Thank you.

Thank you.
Current Mood: lovedloved
She that is Me
14 February 2012 @ 07:16 pm
I always dislike the holiday because it's so exclusive and love isn't.

Anyway, in my own little tradition, I just want to tell you all that I love you, I appreciate you and I hope you have a great day.

*hugs and kisses*
Current Mood: okayokay
She that is Me
13 February 2012 @ 06:29 pm
I went to hospital to have the pre-op assessment. Lots of needles and tests and forms and being talked at about scary risks and possible outcomes. And I had to fill out a living will as well. I've been meaning to do this for a while now but i've not really been FORCED to until the reality of actually undergoing major surgery was presented to me. It's sobering.


I just...I'm tired. I have to try and buck up a bit. Need to laugh. Or have a desperate crying jag to get it out of my system. IDK. I feel a little bit schizophrenic today. This weekend has been trying as hell.

BUT that was the weekend.

I'm okay. I am. I am. Tomorrow is a new day. *tired but determined face*
Current Mood: soresore
She that is Me
23 January 2012 @ 03:30 pm
Originally posted by obstinatrix at To UK Flisties
Originally posted by de_nugis at To UK Flisties
(Taken most recently from sin_stained_ink.)

If you're from the UK and you believe in freedom of speech and an uncensored interenet, you really need to sign this petition. There are others floating about, but that particular one is the best way to ensure that your voice gets heard. It's hosted on the directgov website and addresses parliament directly. If it gets more than 100,000 signatures, it becomes eligible for discussion in the House of Commons.

Everyone's been getting so worked up over SOPA -- and rightly so -- that ACTA seems to have slipped under the radar. This is hugely problematic, because ACTA is a similar bill, but it has the potential to be far more damaging than SOPA ever could be.

Some people seem to have this misconception that ACTA is the 'European SOPA', but that simply isn't true. It's a global treaty, and it's already been signed by eight countries, including the US, Japan, New Zealand and Singapore. Europe votes on Thursday. If they vote 'no', the bill will have to be taken back to the drawing board and reformulated, which should buy us some time at the very least.

If you think this doesn't affect you, you're wrong. If ACTA passes, it could well signal the end of the internet as we know it, and that isn't an exaggeration. It's not just about watching movies and television online. If ACTA passes, sites like YouTube, Livejournal, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and even Google and Wikipedia could become impossible to maintain. ACTA would allow ISPs to monitor your net activity and cut off internet access for your entire household if one person is suspected of breaching copyright. Think Big Brother is Watching. I don't think I need to emphasise just how damaging it can be to be without internet access in this day and age, when we rely so heavily on technology.

It's not only bloggers and fandom that would be affected, either. Small businesses, independent film-makers and unsigned musicians who have previously found their niche online would also suffer hugely, and would be at risk of being bullied into submission by Hollywood and multinational corporations under accusations of copyright infringement. All those artists who found fame by uploading covers of songs to YouTube would never have had the opportunity to do so under ACTA, as those cover versions would be prohibited.

I know the internet has its problems, but to my mind it's the single greatest invention to come out of modern times, and it would be an absolute travesty if we were to lose that now. From a personal point of view, I can't even put into words how important this is to me. I've met some of my closest friends through the internet and online fandom, people whom I would likely never have met without it, and it's given me this amazing social support system. I don't want that to end here, and I want to preserve it for future generations so that they can have the same experience and opportunities I've been given through my online interactions.

I know that opinions on the seriousness of copyright infringement and online piracy vary wildly, but that isn't really the point. Internet giants such as Google are opposed to this bill, and it's pretty safe to say that they're not in favour of copyright infringment, as anyone who's ever had a fanvid taken down from YouTube will be painfully aware. Whatever your stance on copyright, this isn't the way to go about dealing with it. This is dangerous legislation that impeaches on some of our most basic human rights, such as the right to privacy and freedom of speech.

So if you're from the UK, please, please sign the petition. If you hail from elsewhere in the world, there may well be similar movements in your own country, but I think the most effective thing anybody can do right now is to keep talking about this. Talk about it on Livejournal, on Twitter, on Tumblr, on Facebook, and anywhere else you can think of. Make sure this issue is never far from people's minds. The internet is an amazingly powerful tool: let's utilise it while we still have the chance.

Please repost and spread the word :)


Please consider reposting this, especially if you have a large proportion of UK flisties. And please consider spreading the word via other platforms: Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, your own personal network.

Current Mood: awakeawake
She that is Me
I found an app for Android that does everything I used the actual WW site for so I decided that after nearly a decade of paying them every month, I am done. Why pay for something I can get for free?

It's actually quite liberating. With this app and my own spreadsheets (Yes I have spreadsheets...don't judge me) I can do this without needing to fork out.

Now I just need to get this whole gall bladder thing sorted and I might actually be in control of my own body.
Current Mood: chipperchipper
She that is Me
31 December 2011 @ 07:39 pm
Well that's 2011 over with and can I just say thank goodness for that.

Here's hoping 2012 will be a great year for every one of you :)

Party hard (or not) and have a great night!
Current Mood: okayokay
She that is Me
21 December 2011 @ 09:29 am
I haven't updated this in a month.

That's awful. But honestly i've just had nothing to say. I've been job hunting and thats about it. Nothing remotely interesting has happened in my life.

Okay so what HAS happened even if it's not very interesting:

Went to my mums and did the xmas visit. Kinda. Saw the family anyway. Spent too much money on buying my sister pet food to get her over the winter. (We're going to be having words about that when xmas is over. She should NOT have pets if money is that tight.) Bought Ali a new game for her xmas pressie. Gave Mum some money for herself and Oliver (nephew) so that she can buy them stuff in the sales. (Wasn't giving cash to my sister...I don't trust her not to spend it on something random. Especially considering she spent an hour moaning about how money was so tight and then Barry walks in with a crate of Strongbow under his arm. Yeah, no. No cash for her.) Popped in on my Grandad as a surprise. Think I nearly gave him a heartattack when I showed up on his doorstep. Fixed his Kindle (which is a great little thing btw! Never played with one before that.) and did other techy things for him but mostly just realised how much i'd missed him lately. It was nice.

What else...

Oh! Hospital appointment. Went well. I do still have stones so I am getting the op to remove my gall bladder sometime in the new year. Hopefully before the end of Jan. But the Doc said it could take up to 8 weeks to get an appointment so who really knows. Am quite happy about that to be honest. I just want this whole thing over with.

And...thats about it really. Nothing exciting going on here. Hope everyones having a good holiday season :) I'll try to update more regularly. I miss you guys, but I don't want to bore you shitless with the same old, same old you know? Hopefully soon i'll have something to talk about that isn't job hunting or housework or hospitals.
Current Mood: awakeawake
She that is Me
13 November 2011 @ 12:54 pm
For those of you that don't know, I was back in A&E on Thursday. Turns out that it wasn't my pancreas this time, it's something called Biliary Colic. Which is when the gall bladder cramps around stones. Or something. I wasn't all there to be honest.

Luckily I didn't have to stay in. After they gave me lots of groovy drugs I was allowed to go home. All in all I was there about 8 hours. Not too bad. At least I didn't have to stay in.

I have to say though...this one was all on me. I pushed my luck and my system rebelled. I KNEW I had to stay on a low fat diet and yet I decided to eat a cheesy subway, drink a coke and eat a chocolate bar. I don't know why I do it to myself. I can't seem to treat myself with any sort of restraint or caution at all.

*le sigh*

Oh well. I'm okay. Tired and sore but at least i'm back home and not stuck in hospital. :)
Current Mood: lethargiclethargic
She that is Me
31 October 2011 @ 02:07 pm
On Saturday, Dave, myself and a mate were talking about kids programs and how odd British shows were in the 70's when they were growing up. I started describing something I remembered vaguely that I remembered as being one of my very earliest childhood memories. Dave sat there looking confused but our mate was with me. He knew what I was on about.

This is that show:

I know it's not as weird as The Magic Roundabout or Trap Door or Morph but still...

Have to say though, even today it's still better than the Teletubbies.

Edit: In browsing after watching that vid I have come across another blast from my past:

JFC...How the hell did I ever manage to get to sleep at night?? I don't remember these shows being so terrifying!
Current Mood: scaredscared
She that is Me
11 October 2011 @ 04:05 pm



Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
She that is Me
04 October 2011 @ 01:21 pm

They did the scan yesterday and I got the all clear about 20 minutes later when the (lovely American) doctor came round to see me. I swear I nearly threw myself at him in gratitude for being let go.

I have to go back in two weeks for the outpatient appointment and then I believe it's six weeks after that that I have to go for the op for the gallbladder removal. Or something. All I know is that I'm back home and on the mend. I'm shattered and my back aches like hell from that godawful bed but I'm pretty much all here and in one piece. I lost 8lbs while I was in hospital but I certainly wouldn't recommend excruciating agony as a diet plan.

I'm getting to the comments from my last post. I haven't had the wherewithal until now really. I shall reply though. I appreciated every one of your well wishes. They really did cheer me up.

Hopefully in a few days i'll be back to my old self and back to causing misery to all and sundry ;)
Current Mood: chipperchipper
She that is Me
02 October 2011 @ 11:42 am
I'm in hospital.

Acute pancreatitis brought on by gallstones. Been here since Tuesday morning but only now really felt with it enough to make an actual post about it.

Can I just say? Fuck me, this is fucking painful. I've seriously never ever felt pain like it in my life. I actually wouldn't wish this sort of pain on my worst enemy.

I'll put all the gory details under here to save you flists.Collapse )

So there we are. That's how things stand at the moment. Scan tomorrow and then hopefully i can go home :)
Current Mood: soresore
She that is Me
23 September 2011 @ 04:10 pm
  1. I'm sick of Dave being at home already and I have another six days of it.

  2. Thank you very much for all the birthday wishes last week. They made me feel a lot better especially as NONE of my family remembered. My Mothers card was two days late and only sent on the Monday AFTER my birthday so, again, thank you.

  3. Livejournal seems really dead lately...

  4. No really...I'm totally sick of having Dave under my feet all day. Would someone like to take him off my hands for a week or so?? Anyone?

So whats happening...Ummm...Oh! I went to see Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy yesterday. AWESOME film. Really really good despite the fact that Empire cinemas have tiny, tiny seats and serve drinks too big to fit in their cupholders. I found this out to my detriment when five minutes in I spilled pepsi all over my left leg and had to sit through the whole film with damp jeans. Ew.

But the film was excellent. Some people think it's a little slow to get going but personally I think the tension building is great. I love the way Gary Oldman starts out one way and then changes completely by the end of it. Amazing stuff. It was a bloody acting master-class.

What else...Yeah - in health news, things appear to be clearing themselves up. Of course this means I am in complete agony from the belly button down but at least it means my body is behaving as it should and I can stop being so paranoid that i'm secretly knocked up.

In less 'me me me' news, England has decided to skip autumn and go straight for winter. It's chuffing freezing! I have no idea what happened to summer but the jumpers are coming out and so are the boots. I have a pair of purple Doc Martens I want to wear in. Going to take a bloody age though.

Will put this fandom stuff under a cut cos it's gif heavy.Collapse )

Ummmm yeah. So thats about it. I shall be more active on here going forward. I've sort of lost my way with blogging in favour of WoW (shut up - i've got 5 level 85's now!). But I promise to get back with the program.

Right. Of to dungeon...I mean go out in the fresh air... *shifty eyes*
Current Mood: chipperchipper
She that is Me
16 September 2011 @ 05:31 pm
I'm now officially out of my twenties.

Feels absolutely no different to being 29. I don't know why people make such a fuss about it. Then again I didn't see the fuss about 16, 18 or 21 either.

Today has consisted of playing games with Dave and mooching and tonight will consist of crap films (and possibly the True Blood finale) and something nice for dinner.

I know I'm dull - no mad parties or family or anything - but I think it's a nice way to spend a day :)
Current Mood: relaxedrelaxed
She that is Me
10 September 2011 @ 08:06 pm
So I played with my very limited makeup collection. I also found false lashes.

Yes, yes - I know.

It's my face so i'll put it beneath a cut. Oh and excuse my freckles. Snip snip.Collapse )
Current Mood: boredbored